Formal council meetings don’t automatically lead to two-way dialogue. Paula shares specific steps you can take for better dialogue.

By Paula Jensen

Quite simply, community dialogue is an exchange of ideas and experiences through listening, sharing, and questioning. At its best, community dialogue is created in a safe environment where a diverse group of people gather to talk and understand each other. Community dialogue at its worst looks something like the embarrassing story I am going to share about my own community members and town board.

The Town Board Meeting – The Old Way

A few years ago, there was a local issue flaring up in my community. Honestly, I can’t even remember the topic of the issue, but it was important enough that community residents were rallying together to attend the monthly town board meeting so they could have a voice in the decision-making process. I decided to attend. About 15-20 residents filed into the fire hall taking a seat on a folding chair or standing against the wall as the meeting was called to order. The town board and staff sat at a rectangle table at the front of the building. They moved through the approval of their agenda never acknowledging the small crowd to their back.

The crowd sat quietly and respectfully for the first 30 minutes, but then some chatter started in the back. After more than an hour the town board got to the issue at hand. The town board began discussion among themselves at the table, which was hard to hear because two of them had their backs to the group. Someone sitting toward the back of the room asked, “Could you speak up?” Again, the town board members never acknowledged the group but continued their discussion with each other about the issue at hand.

Suddenly something was said by one of the town board members that was clearly heard but not popular with the group. The man behind me started booing loudly! Others started talking and heckling. One person was saying, “Be quiet! I can’t hear.” One of the town board members then turned to ask the group to quiet down and show respect as they finish their discussion. Someone yelled, “Don’t we get to speak?” There was no response. The town board made their motion, voted, approved their decision, and moved to the next agenda item.

In the chaos, people started to realize the town board had moved past their issue, so they noisily filed out of the fire hall into the parking lot. The group was confused about what had just been decided and everyone was astonished that not one person was allowed to have a voice in the conversation. There was absolutely no dialogue allowed!

As I stood outside the fire hall, embarrassed and stunned by the behavior I had just witnessed in that meeting, it was obvious to me that my town leaders were frightened to engage the public and the public wasn’t equipped to engage in healthy community dialogue!

As a community coach, I regularly hear local leaders verbalize their fear that the negative voices will just take over and chaos will ensue if they host a community conversation. I assure you community dialogue doesn’t have to be frightening or end in chaos, instead it can create motivation and common vision.

What dialogue is and is not

When discovering how to fearlessly engage in good dialogue, it’s helpful to recognize what dialogue IS NOT. Dialogue is not debate. In debate the goal is to be right. You believe your solution is the right solution, and your duty is to find flaws in the other solutions presented. Dialogue is also not about total agreement with others. People can be respectful to one another while not needing to agree with everything they believe and do.

On the other hand, dialogue IS a motivator of people and their communities. Dialogue helps people collectively work toward a common vision, understanding, or solution to an issue. People engaged in dialogue listen to understand perspectives, needs, expectations, or solutions. Dialogue is an opportunity for people to be heard and understood while displaying open-minded attitudes and a willingness to be wrong and accept change.

Practical Steps to healthy dialogue

Creating healthy community dialogue starts with one…YOU. To get started, the next time you engage in dialogue with an individual or small group, practice listening to understand rather than listening to respond. Allow for two-way collaborative communication by asking a series of open-ended questions such as What’s happening? What’s your one biggest challenge? How can I help? What do you want in the end? or What are the possible solutions?

Throughout your dialogue practice just remember it’s about three simple behaviors: listening, sharing, and questioning. You can do it!

More practical help for officials and boards

SaveYour.Town’s video Idea Friendly Officials and Boards offers practical steps community leaders can take immediately to improve how they connect with the community, encourage individuals to take initiative, and support more positive action.

• Look at a new way to see your role as an official, one that puts you in the center of the network
• Discover your superpower as an official and put your connections to work for you
• Turn public gripe sessions into crowdsourcing events that mobilize people into action
• Learn the one question that turns even bad ideas into something positive

Learn more about it at LearnTo.SaveYour.Town.

How can elected officials and board members be more open to new ideas and more effective? Photo by City of Bryan, Texas.

By Paula Jensen

Having a passion for rural community development and leadership is what drives my personal and professional life. My personal vision statement reads, “I will be a clear voice for rural people and places by mobilizing and empowering rural changemakers to build vibrant communities.” It has taken me a number of years, a lot of support, much personal and professional growth, and many mistakes to realize that vision.

A turning point for me as an emerging rural community leader was in 1999 at the age of 32 years old when I was sworn in as the first woman to ever serve on the city council in my hometown’s 113 year history.

Serving as a Trustee and Mayor of my community allowed me to organically develop leadership and management skills. I was empowered by the knowledge and understanding I was gaining. As a learner, I sought innovative ways to accomplish things in our community by engaging residents and seeking new resources which often created challenges with my fellow trustees, yet they permitted me to try and supported our successes as the community was developing and growing.

I am grateful for those five years of opportunity in city government because they built my foundation as an emerging leader. I was given new opportunities that allowed me to graduate from Leadership Plenty, co-found a regional economic development organization, start a community daycare, co-create a community foundation, and craft a new career for myself as a grant writer and community & economic development professional in the nonprofit sector.

Engaged, diverse, and collaborative leadership are essential components of vibrant communities, they are also the missing link in many of our small rural communities. In order to keep those small communities vital and advance the future of rural, there must be a focus on building our local leadership capacity.

Statistics show that the prospect to serve as a rural leader in South Dakota, where I live, is 1:27, as compared to 1:57 in our urban centers. However, the current scenario of rural leadership can be described by this familiar story:  Someone has a great idea for engaging in a community project, but no one wants to take the lead toward accomplishment and success. Too often all they get out of these great ideas are a few working group meetings and many frustrated residents that profess, “Nothing ever gets done!” When this destructive cycle is set into motion, it is difficult to get people involved and excited about the future of their communities or rural places as a whole.

The need for new rural leaders to rise up is great. According to the Center for Small Towns, South Dakota needs 357 new leaders every year. When we identify good leaders in a community they are priceless, and often depleted to the point of burnout. Therefore, we must have continuing support, tools and resources available to the existing leaders while simultaneously developing emerging leaders.

Another important next step toward developing emerging leaders in our rural communities is to cultivate a leadership philosophy centered on community building and shared leadership for two major reasons: 1) the growing complexity of problems in rural communities does not lead to easy solutions. One leader cannot filter all the information available to address problems, therefore, they need to rely on the experience of other community leaders; and 2) a growing number of people in communities are no longer content to behave as followers, but want to share in the responsibilities and decisions.

We must all believe that each of our rural communities have unique flair, history and culture, economic opportunity, neighbors who care, a great quality of life, leaders that believe in strategic thinking, ideation and innovation, stimulating conversation, engaged residents, strong asset base, and understanding that leadership development begins at home. #Iamrural

Learn more about how local officials can be effective shared leaders and how the community can support them in our current video Idea Friendly Officials and Boards.